Against the Stream

Tragic Church Signs

Fred Clark at Slacktivist comments on a series of "Church Sign Epic Fails," including an apparently large number trafficing in sexual innuendo:

That last category is a big one. Jesus told his disciples to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Some of the folks in charge of these signs, God bless ‘em, have got the innocent as doves part down. What they need is some kind-hearted, filthy-minded neighbor who’d be willing to supply a bit of serpently wisdom — somebody who can look over the copy for next week’s sign before it goes public.

They need someone who could warn them ahead of time that “Behold, I come quickly” is likely to inspire too many giggles from passersby, never mind why. Or who could gently inform the Christian Outreach Church to reword the name of their C.O.C. Block Party. Or who could say, “Psalm 16:11 is a lovely verse, but you don’t want to put ‘In your right hand are pleasures for evermore’ on your sign.”

Fred goes on to offer additional advice on some phrases to avoid. And really, you don't need to be very pervy at all to figure this stuff out.

Eddie Izzard's Church of England Bit

Just to lighten the mood a bit:

 

Jedi Religion: May the Fourth Be With You

I think this testifies to the power of myth. From the Guardian (UK):

This week, Chi-Pa Amshe from the Church of Jediism in Anglesey, Wales, emailed me with some responses to questions. He said Jediism was growing and that they were gaining hundreds of members each month. The church made the news three years ago, after its founder, Daniel Jones, had a widely reported run-in with Tesco.

Chi-Pa Amshe, speaking as a spokesperson for the Jedi council (Falkna Kar, Anzai Kooji Cutpa and Daqian Xiong), believes that Jediism can merge with other belief systems, rather like a bolt-on accessory.

"Many of our members are in fact both Christian and Jedi," he says. "We can no more understand the Force and our place within it than a gear in a clock could comprehend its function in moving the hands across the face. I'd like to point out that each of our members interprets their beliefs through the prison of their own lives and although we offer guidance and support, ultimately like with the Qur'an, it is up to them to find what they need and choose their own path."

Lucas can screw with the movies as much as he wants, but Star Wars belongs to the world.

Colbert on Ryan, Rand, and Jesus's Preferred Tax Policy

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Felicia Day Is Cool

Taking a break from theo-blogging to dip into nerd blogging. Hope you don't mind.

Moral Combat

My cover article is in the current issue of the Christian century. Here is a link to the site for those of you who are interested in checking it out.

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Werewolves in Church

Via the blog "Near Emmaus," a meditation on the theology of horror stories:

We tell monster stories because we’re afraid of what we are and what we could become. Werewolf stories are inevitably about what happens when a man loses the battle to control his “natural” urges. Vampire stories (at least traditional ones) are about selfish beings who steal blood to prolong their lives, the precise opposite of Christ, who gave his blood willingly to provide the chance of eternal life for others. Zombies are all about a perverted resurrection… an eternal life that isn’t worth living, because it’s a type of continual death. It didn’t take much work to take our fears and worries from the traditional monster story and turn it into a self-conscious exploration of what it means to be human.

via nearemmaus.com, ht. to Andrew Sullivan

Lessons in Child Rearing

OUR DAUGHTER ISN'T A SELFISH BRAT; YOUR SON JUST HASN'T READ ATLAS SHRUGGED:

Since the day Johanna was born, we've worked to indoctrinate her into the truth of Objectivism. Every night we read to her from the illustrated, unabridged edition of Atlas Shrugged—glossing over all the hardcore sex parts, mind you, but dwelling pretty thoroughly on the stuff about being proud of what you've earned and not letting James Taggart-types bring you down. For a long time we were convinced that our efforts to free her mind were for naught, but recently, as we've started socializing her a little bit, we've been delighted to find that she is completely antipathetic to the concept of sharing. As parents, we couldn't have asked for a better daughter.

That's why, when Johanna then began berating your son, accusing him of trying to coerce from her a moral sanction of his theft of the fruit of her labor, in as many words, I kind of egged her on. Even when Aiden started crying.

You see, that Elmo ball was Johanna's reward for consistently using the potty this past week. She wasn't given the ball simply because she'd demonstrated an exceptional need for it—she earned it. And from the way Aiden's pants sagged as he tried in vain to run away from our daughter, it was clear that he wasn't anywhere close to deserving that kind of remuneration. By so much as allowing Johanna to share her toy with him, we'd be undermining her appreciation of one of life's most important lessons: You should never feel guilty about your abilities. Including your ability to repeatedly peg a fellow toddler with your Elmo ball as he sobs for mercy.

The Republican's Secret Anti-Healthcare Reform Plan: The Rapture!

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